Once we go through the majestic portal of the Casa, we cross a threshold. We step into a different level of vibration.
In this fourth painting, I drew miscellaneous elements which are in the garden: the avocado tree in front of the viewpoint, a wooden bunch with “Paz” on it, the bust of San Inacio on the right side and again his profile on the left side. San Inacio is often represented with tears. Tears of compassion.
On the upper part of the left side, we can see a dark sky and a woman on a bicycle, protecting herself against the coming storm with a rainbow umbrella. In the clouds, we can also see the harsh face of “the Queen of the Night” as Amadeus MOZART called her. I know her! She is always there when everything becomes difficult in my life.
On the lower part of the left side, at the extremity of this diagonal, there is another women. She anticipates an experience which I had a few months later. Of course, these elements are personal. They do not refer to the Casa.
Today, when I look at this painting, I can see that I was not feeling well.
Anguish is a pain. However, if we accept to confront it, it becomes an ally because its role is to expand our consciousness and to transform us. Whether it is and anguish of loss, of lack, of separation or of death, this existential feeling is beneficial because its aim is to awaken us.
It is linked to our condition of human beings. It is an invitation to put order within ourselves and in our life. It is a thrust to go inside for we cannot be built on an absence to ourselves.
It pushes us to be more aware and to accept necessary changes. Otherwise, our soul, which is our Divine part, withers and gets devitalized.
Anguish pulls us apart, it wolf us down, it digest us.
Several myths illustrate this engulfing: the Quetzalcoatl, Jonas and the whale and the wolves in many stories… They are all initiatic animals which appear suddenly in our dreams for our evolution because death and resurrection go together.
Anguish is a package. We do not know what is inside until we open it. If we manage to have enough strength and courage to welcome this pain, we shall be rewarded thanks to its enormous power of transformation and creativity.